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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526843">A Gathering Storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/karxmels/pseuds/karxmels'>karxmels</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Possible Character Death, maybe tissue worthy, or not I have no idea how to write angst, season 6 AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 06:08:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/karxmels/pseuds/karxmels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Winn travels back in time to tell Kara she has to say goodbye to someone important.</p><p>Or, in which Mon-El is dying and Kara doesn't know whether she can take it.<br/>Season 6 AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers &amp; Winn Schott Jr., Kara Danvers/Mon-El, KaraMel - Relationship, SuperValor - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Gathering Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><br/>It's here! I frankly don't know whether or not I'm satisfied with this. Regardless, it took me a long time and a lot of planning, so I hope you will enjoy it :)<br/>Thank you, dear Mika, for your help beta-reading this. Means more than I can express.<br/>This turned out very long, but it didn't seem right to split it into two chapters.<br/>There's a lot of dialogue in this, conversations I think they should have had in the show, angst but not much action. Sorry XD<br/>I hope you're all doing well and staying safe.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She hadn’t seen it coming; she had definitely not been prepared.</p><p>She had been working on a lead for a story, trying to gather every available piece of information she could, when she received the call.</p><p>
  <em>“Kara, are you there?” her sister asked, her tone serious, a hint of concern slipping through her words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yes, is everything okay?” She was confused at first, but the heaviness audible in Alex’s voice began to worry her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Not sure. Can you come to the tower?” Kara’s eyebrows were furrowed, worry growing within her thoughts.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll be right there.”</em>
</p><p>As soon as she stepped into the place, the largest grin stretched her lips. She couldn’t believe her eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Winn.</em>
</p><p>Her inner fears faded away all at once; the sight upon her taking up all of her headspace.</p><p>
  <em>Her best friend was back.</em>
</p><p>She immediately sped to embrace him, ecstatic. Nevertheless, her elation was too short lived. The prominent frown on his forehead, the way he barely reciprocated her hug made her grow increasingly distraught.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” She pulled away. The man before her held his breath, bringing a hand to knead his temple. He looked into her eyes, defeated.</p><p>
  <em>Better rip the bandage off.</em>
</p><p>“It’s Mon-El, Kara,” he stated, shortly. His eyes were hurt and anguished, his face strained. “He’s… not okay.” Kara eyed him, quizzically, and the look he gave her back told her everything she needed to know. Ironically enough, it was exactly what she <em>dreaded</em> to hear.</p><p>
  <em>They were losing him.</em>
</p><p>She could swear she felt her heart stop. It was getting harder to breathe steadily, her chest tightening, her throat closing.</p><p>“We’ve tried literally everything. He doesn’t have much time left, so I came to see if you wanted to say goodbye,” he finished, and awaited her reply. She brought a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide, disbelieving.</p><p>
  <em>How?</em>
</p><p>How had he let it happen?</p><p>Although she hadn’t seen him in years, somehow the knowledge that he was safe and happy in the future had comforted her mind.</p><p>
  <em>At least he was okay.</em>
</p><p>Not anymore, it appeared. The realization made her head throb with agony.</p><p>She turned around, after a few moments stagnant, only now noticing her sister and J’onn behind her. Her eyes nervously searched for Alex’s, silently pleading for her opinion.</p><p>“Go,” the brunette urged, caressing Kara’s upper arms. “Be honest with him. Anything you feel you need to tell him, do. You’ll be much lighter.” The blonde could only provide a minimal movement of her head. “Can you tell him that I admire the man he’s become, and thank him for all he did for us?” Kara didn’t respond, her eyes failing to remain focused.</p><p>J’onn stepped forward, taking her hands in his. “Would you tell him that, despite all the trouble and headaches he caused me in the past, he’s grown, and made me proud? We’ll miss him,” he concluded.</p><p>She barely registered the messages. Her thoughts were clouded by the mess of emotions rising to the surface. She was clueless as to what she would tell him herself, let alone what they wanted her to remember. She didn’t want to make a promise she couldn’t keep, and thus only nodded in response.</p><p>Nodding seemed to be all she mustered the strength to do, anyway.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The smile that grew on his face once he saw her could certainly light up a room.</p><p>There he was, his skin pale, his eyes weary, scars and scratches staining his uncovered arms.</p><p>He looked so small, so fragile…</p><p>She felt discomfort in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>She had never seen him so broken. The shape in which she found him brought tears to her eyes, but it was the way he was smiling at her the most heartbreaking.</p><p>She didn’t know how he found the energy to smile so widely.</p><p>“I’m so happy you came,” he said, and it sounded as though he were merely voicing his expression.</p><p>“Of course,” she replied, her voice lacking volume and strength. She held her breath, watching him, taking notice of his every feature before she could approach.</p><p>She pulled a stool placed nearby and took a seat beside him. Her eyes moved between his, not wanting to believe what was happening.</p><p>She desperately tried to steady her breathing, to regain the composure she had lost before she even hopped on the ship.</p><p>“How?” she asked, weakly. She wanted to be able to form more words, to elaborate a proper sentence, but her throat felt dry, the sounds stuck somewhere she couldn’t reach. However, they both knew what she meant, the pain and fear in her eyes already said enough.</p><p>He took a deep breath, preparing for what he was about to reveal.</p><p>“So, uh…” He cleared his throat, attempting to get rid of the rasp in his voice. “A few months ago, I went on this mission on a planet with a red sun. I spent a long time there, and naturally, I didn’t have my powers. From the start, things weren’t going great. Something went sideways, and I got, uh, beaten up pretty badly. To make things worse, they used some alien substance on me that affected my immune system, which is not working as it should. Apparently, it was more than I could take.” He paused, sighing.</p><p>Staring at his… <em>brittle</em> figure seemed too much at that moment, hence Kara opted to look down.</p><p>“Aside from the Legion being busy, and trusting me to be okay on my own, I couldn’t contact them, because I was undercover, so I didn’t have my ring or anything that could potentially give my disguise away. Because of that, they took longer to rescue me than ideal, and I was already in a critical condition when I got to earth.”</p><p>Kara squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to stand her ground, to hold her emotions in. Even so, she couldn’t help from grimacing at his story, and shuddering as she imagined being in his shoes.</p><p>“Next part gets a bit technical, and I’m not a scientist, so I might get some details wrong.” He looked at her, trying to see if she was following. She lowered her head, granting him permission to continue. “I can’t seem to regain my powers, for some reason. The yellow sun lamps are not working, I can’t absorb the radiation for some reason, my damaged immune system isn’t helping me. I have some internal injuries, and they tried to fix them with surgeries, but I haven’t properly recovered from those either. The external ones just won’t heal,” he concluded, slightly lifting the bottom of the blanket over his legs, only enough to uncover his ankles.</p><p>Kara gasped, bringing a hand to her mouth. She could see deep, ugly gashes on his skin, almost completely raw. They appeared to lead to more cuts and wounds, ones still hidden underneath the thin cloth.</p><p>She needed to conceal her feelings, and yet, the harder she tried, the harder it appeared to get. It was as though her body refused to follow her urges.</p><p>Tears finally escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. Despite how big her efforts were, she couldn’t stop their flow, and thus finally gave in.</p><p>Mon-El pulled the fabric over his feet again, and only noticed her crying once he looked up.</p><p>All she wanted was to reach over and touch him, to feel his face, his stubble under her fingertips<em>.</em></p><p>But she couldn’t.</p><p>
  <em>He wasn’t hers anymore. He hadn’t been for a long time.</em>
</p><p>As the thought invaded her mind, her already moist eyes were filled with tears once again.</p><p>“Hey, no, it’s okay, don’t cry,” he voiced, gaze softening. He grabbed her hand, almost hesitantly, using his thumb to tenderly caress her knuckles.</p><p>“Okay?” she replied, her pitch having risen considerably, her eyes failing to hide the anguish behind her exasperation. “Mon-El, you’re dying!” She grimaced, hating how loud she sounded.</p><p>“So I’m told,” he joked, his tone light and lazy. She shot an angry gaze toward him, rolling her eyes right after. Her shoulders slumped, her eyelids falling closed.</p><p>“Don’t joke like that,” she whispered, not moving an inch. She stood there, leaning slightly in his direction, holding his hand as she silently cried. His thumb drew circles on her palm, his eyebrows creased with concern.</p><p>He let her stay like that for a few moments, while he watched her every aspect. He saw the tension evidenced by her curved stance and strained back muscles. Saw the painful sorrow present in her expression, marked by her clenched eyes. Felt the grief she was anticipatedly living through the strength with which she gripped his hand.</p><p>Strange as it may have seemed, he didn’t dread, nor fear his death. He had always believed that his time would eventually come, and that one day, he would finally face his past, and pay for his mistakes. For that reason, after months spent fighting to stay alive, he could safely say that he was ready to bid farewell.</p><p>Be that as it may, seeing her in such torment right before his eyes, knowing that he was the main cause of her suffering, and not being able to do anything to help couldn’t have been easy on him. His heart ached with the knowledge that, once he left, she would still be in pain. It was one of the hard truths they both had to accept.</p><p>He chose to offer her some words of comfort, to convince himself he at least tried his best.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything,” he started, making her slowly open her eyes. “I just want to tell you that it’s only because of you that I can die happy with the life I’ve led. You were the one who pushed me to be better. It changed me forever, so, thank you.” His voice had gotten hoarser, and he had to swallow to get rid of the knot in his throat.</p><p>“I don’t have the energy to scold you and tell you that you did that on your own, but it's true.” She smiled, half-heartedly, and managed to draw a chuckle out of him.</p><p>
  <em>That voice, that sound.</em>
</p><p>She had missed it all. She would miss it forever, without a shadow of a doubt.</p><p>She sighed, “I do have some things I want to tell you, though. Just give me a few minutes,” she pleaded, and saw him nod. She tried to fix the mess inside her head, tried to regain control over her thoughts. She stared sadly at his hand, still enveloped with hers, and granted it a faint squeeze.</p><p>
  <em>It was too hard. Too painful.</em>
</p><p>She decided to start with less personal subjects.</p><p>“Alex asked me to tell you that she really admires the man you’ve become, and wants to thank you for everything you’ve done for us.” He smiled, the woman’s image flooding his mind. He had always thought her to be admirable. Caring, but tough and determined. It made him over the moon to hear she thought highly of him as well.</p><p>“That’s sweet of her. Thank her for me?” he asked. Though his gaze was clearly weary, his contentment and gratefulness couldn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>“Sure,” she responded, more dimly than she had intended to sound.</p><p>“How’s she doing, by the way?”</p><p>“Good. She’s happy. Dating Kelly Olsen, James’s sister, looking into adoption agencies…”</p><p>“Oh, that’s great! I’m happy for her.”</p><p>“Yeah, me too,” Kara murmured, a glimpse of a smile gracing her lips. She shook her head, amusement rising to her irises. “J’onn asked me to say something as well… something about you giving him headaches. I don’t quite remember,” she trailed off, suppressing her laughter. Mon-El, on the other hand, didn’t stop his breathy chuckles. “Sorry," she muttered. She didn’t seem apologetic, though. <em>Not about this, anyway. </em>She stared blankly at the corner of the room. His gaze was still fixed on her.</p><p>“He’s proud of you,” she breathed, at last. He inhaled deeply; the corners of his mouth still slightly tipped up.</p><p>“I know,” he paused, making curiosity glisten in her eyes. “He told me so, a while after I got here.”</p><p>“Rao, I hope I don’t live that long. There’s only so much a Kryptonian can take,” she uttered, playfully, drawing yet another laugh from him. “Where’s he now?”</p><p>“He and M’gann helped save Mars… rebuilt its democracy,” he explained, slowly, perhaps a little absently. “Now they both live there. Grew a family…”</p><p>“That’s so great,” she voiced. “I’m so glad he got his happily ever after.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Silence engulfed them once again, leaving Kara alone with her thoughts and the faint feeling of his delicate touch against her hand.</p><p>There was so much she wanted to say…</p><p>The universe didn’t seem to be on her side, as expected, for none of the subjects she wished to address would be an easy conversation to go through.</p><p>She needed to thank him. To reassure him. To apologize.</p><p>She had let her hurt influence her decisions. Had pushed him to resolve things with his mother, even if that meant he was going to leave her.</p><p>It didn’t work, of course.</p><p>She couldn’t bear the thought of him going back to that cruel place, with no one other than his devious parents, all because of her.</p><p>Yet what happened in the end wasn’t all that great, either.</p><p>She had taken everything he had.</p><p>Left him alone in an utterly foreign reality.</p><p>She barely held her tears.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He shot her a questioning gaze, as she cast hers on the floor. She looked up at him, her face strained, her eyes full of an emotion he couldn’t quite distinguish. “For sending you away, for killing your people… your mother…” Her eyes were filled with tears, her hair falling to her face, covering half of her expression.</p><p>“Kara, no, don’t say that.” He sat up, wincing slightly at the movement. He brought his other hand to their entwined ones, her small fingers getting trapped between his. “You did that to save the world, the humans. They were the ones attacking, not you.”</p><p>She moved her head from side to side, pressing her lips together. “Still, it wasn’t okay. I rarely kill, I should’ve thought of something else.”</p><p>“Kara, if you hadn’t done that, you would’ve probably died, or had to watch my mother destroy everything you love. I could never let that happen. I'd exchange her life for yours in the blink of an eye.” His voice was deep, his tone consoling, his eyes desperate to make her see what he said. His breath brushed her face, but she didn’t notice it.</p><p>“But she’s your mother,” she whispered, unconvinced. The guilt she felt inside was evident in her eyes.</p><p>“She was never a good one, in the first place. I’m not gonna tell you it didn’t hurt, because it did, Kara, but it was her fault and her fault only. She could’ve prevented it all. She could’ve not tried to dominate an entire planet, for Rao’s sake. She had it coming.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she repeated. He sighed, dropping his shoulders.</p><p>“Don’t be,” he replied, quietly. “I need to apologize as well.”</p><p>“For what?” She searched his eyes, getting lost in their intensity.</p><p>She didn’t understand how he could hold such profoundness in his gaze while barely having any strength left.</p><p>“For hurting you, when I came back. Trust me, it pained me terribly to see what I was doing to you. I never wanted to hurt you,” he breathed, shutting his eyes.</p><p>Kara inhaled sharply, allowing the memories to come back. It was no secret that she had suffered. Everything had been so new, and the wounds in her heart were still raw at the time. She was mourning him, coping with his loss when it happened, she couldn’t have reacted well.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, if only she could go back…</em>
</p><p>She would tell her past self to cherish every moment with him. The ones before he left, just as the ones after he came back.</p><p>She had been foolish enough to grieve him when he was right there, in front of her, and…</p><p>
  <em>And now she was losing him for real.</em>
</p><p>She shook such thoughts away.</p><p>“Mon-El, don’t do this. It wasn’t your fault. After you left, I was stuck in this horrible place. It wasn’t healthy, I was barely living, and I took it out on you once you got back. I didn’t know how to deal with it better at the time. But I’ve matured, and I can honestly say that I’m really happy you found someone to take care of you. Look after you. Make you happy.” She gave him a watery smile, which he happily returned, squeezing her hand.</p><p>“She did do that,” he whispered.</p><p>“How’s she?” She hadn’t meant to ask it; the question left her lips before she could give it a second thought. She wanted to take it back, but the words had already escaped her when she noticed it. She pressed her lips together, cursing her impulses inwardly.</p><p>He instantly tensed at her question. How was he to explain it?</p><p>“Good,” he replied, shortly. He saw the curiosity in her eyes. He knew that there was more she hoped to hear from him, but wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to tell the whole truth.</p><p>
  <em>What was the point, anyway? Wouldn’t she just end up more hurt?</em>
</p><p>He bit his lip, weighing his options. He couldn’t <em>not </em>say anything, when she was clearly expecting an elaboration.</p><p><em>Honesty.</em> He owed her that much.</p><p>Hiding information wouldn’t help anyone; he had learned it the hard way. If he gave her his truth, she could very well decide what to do with it.</p><p>She saw him scratch the corner of his mouth in that way he always did when he was pensive. She brushed his knuckles, trying to show him some form of assurance. He took a deep breath, eyes boring into hers.</p><p>“We, uh, we’re not together anymore.” Unintentionally, her eyes turned wide, a surprised gasp escaping her mouth. “Not that… not that it matters.”</p><p>“Mon-El… I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Several questions circled her mind.</p><p>
  <em>When? Why? Had she had anything to do with it?</em>
</p><p>A part of her longed for answers, but…<em> did it really matter, now?</em></p><p>“It wasn’t what it looked like, Kara,” his voice pulled her out of her trance. The way he kept saying her name was hard for her to handle. His voice was full, enveloping her with such tenderness, such affection… she hadn’t heard that in a long time; it threw her off. “Although at some point I did grow to love her, to <em>want </em>to make her happy, our marriage was never what it was supposed to be.”</p><p>There was an obvious wonder in her eyes, yet he could see she was uncertain of whether she wanted to hear the rest. Regardless, he saw her lower her chin, consenting to his continuing. He sighed, “We married to stop a war, when I was very obviously still in love with you. It was never meant to be.”</p><p>Kara froze with his revelation. They were found in unusual circumstances; now that he had barely a few breaths left to spare, he was offering her the explanation for what she had wondered for nearly four years. She released a breath, making the decision to not let the information disrupt her. Had this happened right after she lost him (either time), she was sure would have been utterly taken aback. So much so that it was almost hard to believe she wasn’t.</p><p>
  <em>Not this time.</em>
</p><p>“Though I really want to know the whole story," she started, rather shakily, "I have a feeling we don’t have much time left, and I’d rather talk about other things.”</p><p>He flashed her an understanding smile, nodding. An unexpected wave of emotions hit him, all at once, requiring him to close his eyes shut in order to keep his tears at bay.</p><p>He really did wish they had gotten another chance. Although he didn’t believe he deserved one, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like.</p><p>She was just… <em>astonishing.</em></p><p>Whenever he was around her, he felt the desperate need for <em>more.</em></p><p>More of her voice, her thoughts, her stories, her jokes, her smiles, her laughter…</p><p>
  <em>More of her.</em>
</p><p>He hoped that, after he was gone, she could find true happiness. That the future decided to be kind to her, for once, and bring her at least part of what she deserved.</p><p>He hoped that his unconditional love would be enough to protect her, even if he weren’t physically there to make sure of it.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” she inquired, noticing his change of demeanor.</p><p>He tightened his grip on her hand, clutching it closer to his chest. His face revealed conformation, despite the evident pain behind it.</p><p>“Nothing,” he breathed, his eyes tear stained. “Nothing’s wrong. I just… missed you.” He brought her knuckles to his lips, dropping a chaste kiss to them. Any trace of hurt had disappeared from his countenance.</p><p>“I missed you too,” she replied, slightly breathless. She ran her thumb up and down the side of his index finger, relishing his touch.</p><p>“I was going to stay, you know?” There was a slight crack in his voice as he questioned her, new tears threatening to flood his eyes. She mimicked his expression, not able to stand her ground any longer.</p><p>“Stay where?” She knew what he had meant. They both did, and yet, for some reason, she wanted to hear it from him.</p><p>“In the twenty-first century. With you. But Brainy said I couldn’t, said that the future needed leaders…” his voice faded, he pressed his lips together, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.</p><p>Kara kissed his knuckles, much like he had done just a few seconds before. She leaned over, bringing the hand that wasn’t holding his to his forehead, brushing his hair away.</p><p>He had let it grow. She liked it.</p><p>
  <em>He would always look beautiful in her eyes.</em>
</p><p>It felt soft, softer than how it used to feel when it was shorter.</p><p>She wanted to have more time to admire it. <em>More time with him.</em></p><p>She didn’t know how to respond to his confession. Couldn’t form words, somehow. She swallowed, painfully, and moved her hand to his cheek, caressing it tenderly.</p><p>“Were you happy?” she asked, staring into his eyes. They were glistening, displaying the lightest shade of blue she had ever seen on him. He nodded, continuously, however languid.</p><p>“I was,” he admitted, trying to reassure her, unsuccessful. “Of course it was nothing like I felt when I first landed on Earth, it was… it was challenging, at times. But I can’t complain. I’ve made some wonderful friends, irreplaceable memories… I don’t think I would change it. Especially with everything we’ve accomplished with the Legion, all the people we saved…” She smiled, resting the side of her face on their interlaced hands.</p><p>“Look at you! All heroic and mature.” She grinned, making them both chuckle, dryly.</p><p>“I’ve come a long way.”</p><p>“You’ve become an amazing person, kept the world spinning even without me… I can’t express how proud I am of you." She smiled, tightly. "Really proud,” she breathed.</p><p>“Thank you, Kara.” She had no idea how much her words meant to him. He had to blink to stop his emotions from emerging. She had, once again, made his heart full, accomplished, and he was more than grateful for it. <em>Grateful to her.</em></p><p>She perked up at the sound of steps approaching the med bay. She turned around, and spotted a man standing next to the door.</p><p>“Mon-El?” he called. He was dressed in what seemed to be the Legion uniform. Mon-El stretched his neck to see the legionnaire, indicating that he was listening. “I know that you’re in a really bad shape right now but… well, I was wondering if…” He cleared his throat. “So here’s the thing: Bismoll just proposed an agreement, about the protection technology they recently created. They sent a contract that we’d like to sign until next week. We’re already looking into it, but I… well if you could take a look at it and give us your opinion… it would be really quick! I just think that we could use your input…”</p><p>“Uh-”</p><p>“Are you kidding me right now?” Kara bellowed, her eyebrows high on her forehead.</p><p>“I beg your pardon, Supergirl?”</p><p>“Don’t you have like, a thousand people you could ask this? Winn? Imra? Mon-El shouldn’t be solving business right now! He can barely move, he should be resting!” She hadn’t intended to sound so stern, but her indignation and protectiveness got the best of her.</p><p>The legionnaire looked positively mortified, and nodded stiffly, murmuring a small “yes, ma’am,” before rushing out of there.</p><p>Mon-El laughed heartily at her outburst, still not letting go of her hand. She looked at him once more, her previous infuriation giving place to amusement.</p><p>“Thank you.” He smiled.</p><p>“No problem.” She winked, returning his smile. She bit the inside of her cheek, pensive. “Do they always come to you?”</p><p>“Not always,” he replied, tilting his head. “Most times.” She hummed, nodding.</p><p>“Is it hard? Being a leader and all…”</p><p>“It’s… heavy,” he answered, honestly.</p><p>“Must be,” she mumbled. “Can you tell me a little about it? Doesn’t have to be a lot, maybe just an adventure you went on or…”</p><p>He grinned softly as she stammered, simply in awe of her, of how adorable she was. He knew exactly what to share, and thus interrupted her thoughts, “There was this planet we visited on a mission… it was called Thanar. We went there to defend them from a possible attack, but thankfully, we were able to de-escalate things before they got physical.”</p><p>She paid her full attention to his every word, mesmerized, wanting to remember every detail.</p><p>“Before we left, I decided to go on a stroll. It was a beautiful planet, after all. It was nearing dusk, the sky already showed stars, and it was… it was stunning. It looked like a gradient of multiple colors at once. It was bright and glowing; I knew you would have loved it.</p><p>“I was thinking about you, and, right after I finished sending a prayer, the bluest, most beautiful comet I’d ever seen crossed the sky above me. When I tell you I fell to my knees and sobbed…” She laughed, crying while she tightly held on to his hand, but a beautiful smile adorned her face.</p><p>She couldn’t believe that, in a matter of hours, she would never be able to laugh with him again. To hold his hand, to share stories…</p><p>There was so much she wanted to tell him, so much she wanted to know about his life after he left her…</p><p>Yet there wasn’t time. There would never be enough time for them.</p><p>She tried to imagine the scene he had just described, and felt her heart beating loudly in her chest, her breath getting caught in her throat.</p><p>
  <em>Always so thoughtful. Such a romantic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p><p>She brought a hand to her mouth, trying to stop a sob.</p><p>“Thank you. That was beautiful. Very cheesy, but everything I needed,” she whispered, squeezing his hand. She gave him a watery smile, bringing a hand to the corner of her eye, to wipe her tears.</p><p>“Rom-com on steroids,” he breathed, lazily. Her grin widened as she recognized his reference.</p><p>“Yeah.” She took her hand to his face once more, feeling his skin, his beard under her fingertips. She brushed his eyebrow, her eyes failing to focus on one thing, instead traveling all around him.</p><p>She sat back on her stool, taking a deep breath, her lips tilting halfway upward.</p><p>“Remember when we were on Argo, and I told you that it felt amazing to be normal?” He nodded, furrowing his brows. “I envied the people there, envied Clark when he and Lois got engaged and pregnant, and decided to move there,”</p><p>“Wait really?” he asked, and she chuckled, nodding her head.</p><p>“Yeah. But they’re back already, uh,” she paused, breathing in, “Argo was destroyed.” His eyes widened, and he pulled her hand, bringing her a little closer to him.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, genuinely saddened for her. She chewed on her lower lip, looking away.</p><p>“It’s okay, though!” she rushed to conclude. “It was restored soon after. Besides, you get used to it, after a while.”</p><p>
  <em>She deserved better.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Much, much better.</em>
</p><p>He sighed, running his hand soothingly up and down her arm.</p><p>“Anyway, I, uh, I never thought I would have that. You know, that peaceful, utter happiness. I thought it wasn’t for me.” She looked at him once more, urging him to pay attention to her next lines. “But, in reality, when I come to think of it, you gave me that. Happiness. That sense of normalcy, being able to talk to you about different planets and alien struggles, being able to actually feel your touch… it was everything.”</p><p>She gave him a sincere, <em>heartbreaking</em>, smile, which he gladly returned, with yet another squeeze of her hand. “Thank you,” she whispered.</p><p>“My pleasure,” he said, staring deep into her eyes.</p><p>To him, there was nothing else she needed to say. He could stay like that until he gave his last breath, and <em>that would be enough.</em></p><p>To her, nothing would <em>ever</em> be enough. She didn’t want to say goodbye, didn’t want to hear his last words, see his last movements. She couldn’t take it.</p><p>She looked at his face. His <em>gorgeous</em> eyes, his adorable nose, his pale cheeks, his still rosy lips…</p><p>She didn’t want to be the one to cross a line, but nor did she want to live with regret.</p><p>They looked so soft, so inviting, so <em>hers…</em></p><p>She dismissed any caution or doubts, and closed the distance between them, slowly enough that he could stop her if he wanted to.</p><p>He didn’t.</p><p>As she felt the delicate pressure of his lips between hers, she swore she could have broken down. It was nostalgic, yet so… <em>so different.</em></p><p>He tasted just like she remembered.</p><p>
  <em>Too good.</em>
</p><p>She felt her heart constrict.</p><p>His hand traveled timidly to her cheek, stroking it tenderly, before it moved to her hair.</p><p>She sucked at his lower lip one more time, and released it, without pulling away, only breathing against him. Her pain was almost blinding, but she made an effort to silence it.</p><p>“Rao, how can you kiss so well even on your deathbed?” she whispered against his mouth, failing to stop a hiccup afterward. He laughed weakly, the vibrations traveling to her as well. She swallowed her tears.</p><p>“Daxamite genes.” He winked, as she pulled away.</p><p>He brought his hands to the back of his neck, unclasping the chain previously around it. She gasped at the action, covering her mouth, tears fogging her vision once again.</p><p>He grabbed her hand, opening it carefully, and gave her the necklace, closing her fingers around it. She looked at him, agape, and allowed her tears to flow.</p><p>She couldn’t fathom the feelings washing over her. Grief, pain, sorrow, agony, fear…</p><p>
  <em>Love.</em>
</p><p>She loved him. She <em>loved</em> him, and she lost him, and it was happening all over again.</p><p>
  <em>This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.</em>
</p><p>She should have saved him. She should have been there. She should have stopped it.</p><p>Bit by bit, he felt fatigue taking over his body. It hurt to keep his eyes open, but he persisted further.</p><p>She forced her eyes shut, inhaling shakily, squeezing the necklace in her fist.</p><p>“Remember when I said that it was okay that I was going to die, because I had gotten to kiss you?” <em>How could she forget? </em>She nodded, repeatedly. “Still true.”</p><p>Another hiccup escaped her throat; she released his hand to cradle his face again.</p><p>“Don’t leave,” she breathed, whimpering. “I can’t lose you. I’ve lost everyone, I’ve lost you twice already… I can’t lose you again, I can’t lose you.”</p><p>She repeated the last sentence over and over again, sobbing uncontrollably. His thumb lovingly traced her cheek, his lips slightly upward.</p><p>She hugged his middle, careful so that she didn’t hurt him, crying into his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, weak, and feel his breathing, shallow. His grip against her was getting looser, his body not responding.</p><p>“You’ll never lose me,” he breathed, before he gave into the exhaustion, letting his eyelids fall close.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for reading.<br/>Please let me know if you spot any mistakes, so I can correct them.<br/>Thank you, Mika, once again &lt;3</p><p>Kudos and comments are appreciated, they give us writers the boost to keep going!<br/>My twitter handle is @thoroughlymaria, I post updates on my stories there if you want to follow &lt;3<br/>Stay safe!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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